2:26 am m
Ughhh wish epoelpe didnt go here???? wahhhh wqhy does this alwys happen………pooppppzzz. hate emersonnn people. barfin in ma bagggg yayyy ngihty night
<3 ke$haaaaa
gettn sexy wit it
one of ke$ha’s finest moments, rediscovered
we were gonna work on my finals, and then we got high (and went downstairs in our pajamas scrounging for food) dooodoodooooo
some updates from the last few days
THE PARTY SLUTZ ARE GOING TO IRELAND BITCHESSSSS
Scarlett––the only bro I will ever love <3
twas a good day for vodka watermelons
just a lovely picture I found of my kitten at home…aaaaand my tits.
When the partyslutz became men and got drunk and then shot a music video and then got drunk again
DEAR ALL MEN:
Steps to getting laid and being happy forever:
1. Grow nice facial hair. If you can’t do this, you should probably kill yourself.
2. Have a nicely sized penis. Not some tiny chode, not some gargantuan monster. Like…within the realm of 7-11. If you don’t have this, you should probably kill yourself.
3. Be a good person. Like, an actually nice guy. Just be genuine and kind and sweet and real. If you can’t do this, or if your “real” self is actually a total asshole, you should probably kill yourself.
4. Only be attracted to people who are also good people. If you are attracted to airheads and immature sluts and fake bitches, you should probably kill them and then kill yourself.
That’s it.
Note: Becoming a woman is also an alternative to dying, unless it makes you a dumb fake bitch slut whore cunt in which case…just stay dead.
KE$HA’S RANT
Okay, let’s make a list of Ke$ha’s failures in the penis department.
1. Everything.
Oh I’m sorry EVERY SINGLE MAN IN EXISTENCE…did you want something more than my boobs, invisible gag reflex and literal willingness to do anything for you? Not even sexually. Just, anything.
What the fuck else could you ask for? Nice teeth? Check. Personality? I mean…no one’s perfect…but cmon, guys. We’re the Sexy Bitches. So actually yeah, I guess we’re perfect.
Can’t wait for the day when guys GROW THE FUCK UP and stop getting in relationships with dumb sluts. Oh wait, that won’t ever happen.
I’m moving to mars with Scarlett and we’re going to be asexual hermits with a ton of cute kittens and puppies and rainbows and IT WILL FUCKING RAIN CHOCOLATE AND THE SUNSHINE WILL BE MADE OUT OF FUCKING FROZEN YOGURT AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FUCKING BETTER THAN IT IS HERE.
Here’s my new thing. If I haven’t made it clear that I like you and care about you, I either don’t know you or I FUCKING HATE YOU. So everyone who falls into that category…stay out of my way until you see me holding hands with Johnny Depp or Leonardo DiCaprio or someone perfect and beautiful and BETTER THAN ALL YOU NASTY FUCKERS.
do you guys like my Coors Light hat? ;)
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
From a while ago…Scarlett’s text to a certain asshole…still makes me laugh. LUV Y@ b00 <3